Sonics Owner Asks Kevin Durant To Chip In For New Arena

SEATTLE--Seattle Supersonics owner Clay Bennett, desperate to build a new arena that will allow him to keep the team in the Seattle area, is asking draftee Kevin Durant if he would be able to chip in for the new venue should the Sonics select him with the second pick.

Durant, one of the most coveted prospects in the country, is expected to sign a huge shoe contract, which Bennett says should be used, in part, to keep the team in Seattle.

“It’s certainly reasonable for us to ask the kid if he could throw in around $100 million or so,” said Bennett, who bought the team in July of 2006. “He’s probably going to get more than that for his sneaker deal and I’m sure it would endear him to the people of Seattle if he donated some of that to the team. We could even work out a naming rights deal with him. Actually, no we couldn’t. We’re naming this baby after a corporation no matter who pays for it. Are you listening, taxpayers? Don’t say you weren’t warned.”

In February, Bennett’s ownership group announced plans for an arena in Renton, Washington that would cost $500 million, with the public providing $300 million of that money. So far, state representatives have balked at the proposal, leaving the ownership group no other choice but to fund the arena themselves or to relocate the team.

“The people of this fine state have not cooperated,” Bennett said. “They’re all about keeping their priorities straight and not flushing their money down the toilet. Well, la-di-da. Look who’s too good for flushing their money down the toilet. So knowing that Seattleans are such tight wads, we need help. Durant, cough up some money. Otherwise we won’t select you at all and you'll be off to Atlanta. Hope you like humidity and not having a point guard.”

The city has offered a public contribution of $50 million to upgrade the Sonics current venue, Key Arena. However, the owners flatly rejected the offer, calling it “inadequate” and “hilarious.”

“Get this: they offered us $50 million to renovate Shithole Arena,” Bennett said. “Unless that ‘renovation’ consists of tearing it down and building a brand new one in it’s place, it’s not going to work. I know it sounds harsh, but that's life in the NBA. If you’re going to compete, you need a brand new facility with lots and lots of luxury boxes. That way our corporate sponsors will be comfortable when they’re entertaining clients during games. As a basketball purist, I think this is of the utmost importance.”

At the moment, Durant is refusing to commit any money to funding a new arena, despite the fact that the team is in danger of relocating. Instead, he plans to spend his sneaker money on a new home for his mother as well as a sprawling mansion for himself.

He also admitted to being surprised at the plea from Bennett.

“I wasn’t expecting him to ask me to chip in,” said Durant. “I mean, is this part of the normal procedure for draft picks? Because I don’t think the Portland people are asking Greg Oden for any money. If they need a new place they should just fund it themselves. I’m keeping everything I get from Nike to build myself a new house. Actually, I wonder if I could get some public funding for that. It will certainly create a lot of jobs in the pool cleaning and security guarding industries.”

Despite his refusal to cough up any money, Durant said he hopes the Sonics stay in Seattle.

“I love Seattle. It’s a great city,” he said. “Hopefully the owners and the city can come to some sort of an agreement. Or maybe the owners could get some investors and build the thing privately, like, oh, I don’t know, every other team in the country? Jesus, it shouldn’t be that hard. Charge seat licensing fees. Double ticket prices. Make everyone pay for parking. There’s more than one way to fleece the fans. You don’t have to be so direct about it.”

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