CARVER, MA--Tommy Branford, 14, a freshman on Carver High School’s wrestling team, has been disappointed so far with his experience, which he described as “boring” and suffering from an appalling lack of chair throwing. “I’ve always been a big wrestling fan so I was psyched to join the Carver High wrestling squad,” said Branford. “I figured I’d be breaking chairs over people’s heads, gouging their eyes out, wearing colorful costumes and cursing at the audience. But all we do instead is ‘grapple,’ which is basically rolling around on the floor until one person ‘pins’ the other. And now my coach is saying that I'll be kicked off the team if I try throwing acid in someone’s face! For real? Apparently the PC police have finally ruined wrestling, too."