The Brushback: Archives-Baseball '09


Burnett Doesn’t Have Heart To Tell Yankees About Shoulder Stiffness 1/1/09 NEW YORK--Just days after signing a lucrative 5-year deal with the New York Yankees, starting pitcher A.J. Burnett is experiencing a familiar sensation: shoulder stiffness.
Strasburg Demands Trade To Contender 8/23/09 WASHINGTON, DC--Just days after signing a record contract, Washington Nationals rookie Stephen Strasburg is demanding a trade to a contender, the Washington Times reports.
Jeter To Not Even Come To Plate In Non-Clutch Situations 10/6/09 NEW YORK—Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter has announced that he will no longer bother coming to the plate in non-clutch situations, because they are a waste of time and “beneath him.”
Study: Running Out Pop-Ups A Colossal Waste Of Time 10/9/09 AUSTIN, TX--A new study published by Scientific American reveals that running out pop-ups– long considered a hallmark of fundamentally sound, textbook baseball – is actually a colossal waste of time.
Joe Mauer Admits MVP Would Mean Way More Than World Series 10/14/09 MINNEAPOLIS--Minnesota Twins catcher Joe Mauer is the favorite to win the AL MVP this year and the all-star catcher is eagerly anticipating the announcement. He even admitted, in a moment of candor, the winning the MVP is “way cooler” than winning a World Series, especially since “you don’t have to share” the MVP award.
Random, Small Sample Size Of At-Bats Transforms A-Rod Into True Yankee 10/19/09 NEW YORK--Alex Rodriguez, once considered a soft, mentally weak choke artist who couldn’t come through when it mattered most, is now being labeled a “hero” and a “True Yankee,” based on a completely random sampling of five games in which he has batted .368 and hit 3 home runs.
Fox Pitch Tracker Now Openly Laughing At Umpires 11/5/09 NEW YORK—MLB umpires are petitioning the league to do away with the Fox Pitch Tracker after several of them reported hearing the device laughing at them during the World Series. Joe West, who called balls and strikes during Games 1 and 4, said the pitch tracker made a mockery out of he and his colleagues.
Jason Varitek Exercises $3 Million Option To Stay In Baseball 11/12/09 BOSTON--Red Sox catcher Jason Varitek exercised a $3 million option to stay in the game of baseball next year. Varitek will once again play for the Boston Red Sox, the only team that has any use for him. “It’s great to be coming back to Boston again,” said Varitek.
Jeter Explains To Potential Groupie That Defensive Metrics Are Flawed 12/9/09 NEW YORK--Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter was spotted in a New York City night club last night explaining the limitations and shortcomings of defensive metrics to a potential groupie, witnesses reported. The woman, who appeared skeptical at first, did reportedly leave the club with Jeter.