January 14th - Issue 31:
Die-Hard Yankee Fan Psyched To Have Lou Gehrig’s Disease
January 20th Issue 32:
Peter Gammons Trades Alex Rodriguez To Red Sox
February 3rd - Issue 34:
Thousands Line Streets Of Boston To Celebrate Aaron Boone’s Knee Injury
February 10th - Issue 35:
Which Gay Major Leaguer Will Come Out In 2004?
February 17th - Issue 36:
MLB Reaches Out To Urban Youths With State-Of-The-Art Basketball Academy
March 3rd - Issue 38:
Milwaukee Brewers Unveil New Slogan ‘We Still Exist’
March 23rd - Issue 41:
Union Adopts Zero Tolerance Policy Toward Bud Selig
April 27th - Issue 46:
Yanks Quietly Place Sleeping Jose Contreras On Raft Back To Cuba
May 11th - Issue 48:
John Kruk’s Column Mistaken For LostWritings Of Ernest Hemingway
May 25th - Issue 50:
Disembodied Voice In Iowa Cornfield Urges Farmer To Go On Shooting Spree
Gritty, Hard-Working Underdogs Lose Tenth Straight
June 22nd - Issue 54:
Lou Pinella Regrets Promise To Amputate Legs If Rays Reach 500
July 6th - Issue 56:
Fan Vote To Determine Winner Of All-Star Game
July 13th - Issue 57:
Rangers Blame Lack Of Pitching Depth For Upcoming Collapse
Prominent Player To Be Traded To High Profile Team, Reports Unnamed Source
Long Home Run Causes Chris Berman’s Head To Explode
Shooting Spree Upsets Fragile Clubhouse Chemistry
July 27th - Issue 59:
Rob Dibble Visibly Aroused While Discussing Red Sox-Yankees Brawl
Player Vows Never To Hustle Again After Hamstring Injury
August 3rd - Issue 60:
Old Fashioned Retro-Ballpark Has Futuristic Prices |
September 7th - Issue 65:
Ichiro Receiving Death Threats From Angry George Sisler Fans
September 14th - Issue 66:
Scores Of Cubs Fans Killed In Tragic Bandwagon Crash
Mysterious Emailer Informs Bud Selig Hot Teens Sluts Are Waiting For Him
September 28th - Issue 68
Red Sox Players Tell Bostonians To Get A Life
Shawn Green To Wear Funny Jewish Hat During Games
October 5th - Issue 69
Peter Angelos Insists New Washington Ballpark Not Have Any Seats
Scooter The Talking Baseball Denies Rumors He’s Gay
October 12th - Issue 70
Tragic Death Of Teammate Fails To Put Things In Perspective
October 26th - Issue 72
Never-Say-Die Astros To Continue Playing Despite Being Eliminated
ESPN Apparently Serious About Web Gem Awards Show
November 2nd - Issue 73
Iraqi Insurgents Inspired By Red Sox Victory
November 9th - Issue 74
Carlos Beltran Expresses Desire To Become Overpaid Prick That Everybody Hates
December 7th - Issue 78
MLB Owners Agree To Eliminate Steroids From Post-Game Buffet
December 14th - Issue 79
Royals Trade Mike Sweeney Just To Get Their Name In the Paper
December 21 - Issue 80
Randy Johnson To Whine Like A Bitch Until Someone Trades Him To Yankees
Free Agent Narrows Choices Down To Whichever Team Has The Most Money
December 28th - Issue
Yankees Farm System Down To Last Two Players |
