January 28th - Issue 33
Former X-Games Champ Promoted To Shift Supervisor At Krispy Kreme
February 10th - Issue 35
Fire In Anna Kournikova’s Shrubs Kills 7
March 9th - Issue 39
Female Golfer Blasted For Not Being Pretty
March 23rd - Issue 41
Veterans Stadium Imploded With Fans Still In It
April 6th - Issue 43
14-Year-Old Soccer Phenom Proves Soccer Really Isn’t That Hard
April 20th - Issue 45
PETA Demands Marv Albert Remove Dead Animal From His Head
Guy In Motorized Wheelchair Wins Wheelchair Marathon Again
May 11th - Issue 48
Dream Job Winner Given Coloring Book To Keep Him Busy
New Office Temp Looks Suspiciously Like Akili Smith
May 18th - Issue 49
Roy Jones Jr. Writes Rap Song About Getting His Head Bashed In
May 25th - Issue 50
NASCAR Appoints Magic Johnson Token Black Guy
June 1st - Issue 51
Retarded Waterboy Not Sure Why He’s Such An Inspiration
June 8th - Issue 52
Terrorists Voice Strong Support For New York City Olympic Bid
Guy Weeping In Corner Edited Out Of Casino Commercial
Date Not Impressed By Whiffle Ball Comeback Story
June 15th - Issue 53
Scott Boras Demands $35 Million To Rescue Drowning Child
Enraged Detroit Residents Burn City To Ground Following Kimmel Comments
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July 20th - Issue 58
Arthur Ashe Courage Award Given To GMC Trucks
Report: Pussies Less Likely To Use Steroids
Identity Thief Disappointed To Get Mike Tyson’s Identity
August 10th - Issue 61
Special Olympics Targeted By Special Terrorists
Septmeber 7th - Issue 64
Winner Of New ESPN Reality Show Gets To Run Over Stuart Scott With Bus
Controversial Female Olympian Refuses To Pose Naked
September 21st - Issue 66
Date Unnerved By Vast Collection Of Miniature Golf Trophies
September 28th - Issue 68
One More Bet To Get Local Gambler Back On Track
October 19th - Issue 71
Kyle Orton Quits Team To Promote Heisman Candidacy
Entire State Of Ohio Underachieving
November 16th - Issue 75
Bob Ley Just Using Outside The Lines To Get Laid
November 30th - Issue 77
Suzy Kolber Apprehended After Nine State Killing Spree
Player Vows Never To Hustle Again After Hamstring Injury
December 21 - Issue 80
Ugly Women Fight For Right To Appear In Beer Commercials
Some Americans Do Not Own Sports Blogs
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