January 2 - Issue 178

Tony Romo Downgraded To Second Best Quarterback Of All Time

Bengals Admit To Being Distracted By Death Of Gerald Ford

Boise State Coach One Step Closer To Getting The Hell Out Of Boise

Eli Manning A Calming Influence In Eagles Locker Room

January 9 - Issue 179

Seahawks Attribute Botched Field Goal To Their Resilience

Merriman Hoping Supplements He’s Taking Are Tainted

January 16 - Issue 180

Jason Taylor’s ‘Lights Out’ T-Shirt Already Out Of Style

Baltimore Fans Refuse To Let Colts Leave Town

January 23 - Issue 181

Fox To Bomb Super Bowl As Part Of New 24 Ad Campaign

January 30 - Issue 182

Colts To Skip Super Bowl To Avoid Distractions

February 6 - Issue 183

NFL Nearing Glorious Future Where Whites Will Be Eradicated

Patriots Upset Over Lack Of Respect During Colts Victory Parade

February 13 - Issue 184

Recruit Excited About Free Car Every USC Freshman Gets

February 20 - Issue 185

Poll: Most Americans Would Accept Having Franchise Tag Slapped On Them

Rutgers Coach Locked Up Four More Years Or Until He Gets Better Offer

Norv Turner Attributes Poor Coaching Record To Poor Coaching

March 20 - Issue 189

No Party At Jerramy Stevens’ Place This Weekend

March 27 - Issue 190

Seahawks Hoping Calvin Johnson Drops To Second Round

April 17 - Issue 192

Vince Young Awarded Madden Cover After Twelve Other Players Decline

May 1 - Issue 194

Patriots Cut Brandon Meriweather To Send Message To Randy Moss

May 22 - Issue 196

Goodell Encourages Players To Break Law In Attempt At Reverse Psychology

May 29 - Issue 197

Madden Curse Strikes Vince Young In Form Of Shitty Wide Receivers

June 12 - Issue 199

Disappointed Investigators Find Only Human Corpses On Vick’s Property

New NFL Study Shows Concussions Can Be Alleviated By Ignoring Them

June 19 - Issue 200

Pacman Jones Weirded Out By Sight Of Fully Clothed Woman

July 17 - Issue 203

Laid Back Wade Phillips Declares Training Camp Optional

July 24- Issue 204

Attorney Insists Vick Ate Every Dog He Killed

Calvin Johnson Politely Threatens To Hold Out Unless He Gets $30 Million

July 31 - Issue 205

98 Percent Of NFL Players Coming Into Season With Chips On Their Shoulders

Seemingly Normal Person Says Vick Should Have Genitals Fed To Dogs

New Colts Defensive Scheme To Emphasize Tackling Ball Carrier

August 7 - Issue 206

Raiders, Russell Still Far Apart On How Insane Contract Should Be

2007 Sleeper Teams Prepare To Not Make Playoffs

August 14 - Issue 207

Saints Bury Drew Brees In Symbolic Attempt To Put Last Season Behind Them

Fantasy Owner Declares Open Competition For Starting Quarterback Job

August 21 - Issue 208

Pete Kendall Demands Somebody At Least Listen To Him

Merriman Still Waiting For Massive Public Outcry Over Halting Of Sack Dance

Cats Gather In Support Of Michael Vick

August 28 - Issue 209

Pennington Blames Preseason Struggles On Madden Curse

Tom Brady Refuses To Let Baby Be Distraction

Tomlinson To Be Held Out Of Regular Season As Precautionary Measure

September 4 - Issue 210

Michigan Players To Start Attending Class If They Fall To   0-3

Belichick To Acquire Signs Via Intimidation From Now On

 

 

September 11 - Issue 211

Uninspired Saints Turn To David Eckstein

Bengals Offense Falls Short In 51-45 Loss

14 Other NFL Teams Hastily Remove Spy Cameras From Sidelines

Lovie Smith Wishes He Had Some Sort Of Backup Quarterback

September 18 - Issue 212

Falcons Already Sick Of Petrino’s No-Nonsense Approach

Aaron Rodgers Now Being Peppered With Retirement Questions

Rams Suffering From 2002 Super Bowl Hangover

September 25 - Issue 213

Cam Cameron Considers Holding Practices Between Games

October 2 - Issue 214

Stanford Quarterback Out Five Hundred Bucks After Win Against USC

October 9 - Issue 215

NFL Officials To Pay More Attention To The Games This Week

October 16 - Issue 216

Vikings’ Offensive Playbook Simplified To One Play

Kornheiser On David Garrard: ‘Tom Brady Is Having a Sensational Year’

November 13 - Issue 219

Fox Cancels Ratings-Challenged Panthers Season

Injury Depleted Fantasy Team Wills Way To Victory

November 20 - Issue 220

Patriots Ship Sixth Rounder To Razorbacks For Darren McFadden

Nebraska Climbs To 15th In AP Poll After Firing Callahan

Testaverde Misses Game Due To Pre-Concussion Syndrome

New Blackout Rule Prohibits Ticket Holders From Watching Packers-Cowboys Game

December 3 - Issue 221

Eagles Provide Blueprint For Losing To Seahawks

Stanford Voted Into National Championship In Year’s Most Stunning Upset

Les Miles Tries To Hide Crushing Disappointment He’s Still At LSU

December 10 - Issue 222

Nick Saban Retroactively Awarded 2006 Coach Of The Year

Tebow Praises Teammates For Staying The Hell Out Of His Way

Petrino Doesn’t Mention NFL Stint During Arkansas Interview

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
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